Liberty Village Extra Dry Cider

Overall

3/10

Apple goddamn-flavoured water.  This shit is just disappointing like a red-headed step-child.

I’m sorry Ryan.  I can’t love you because you’re a soulless anomaly.  Like Harry Potter I would lock your ass under a stairwell with this cider to think about what you are and why no one loves you.

Packaging

You’re thinking to yourself, “I have a baby shower to go to. The woman is an insufferable twat. Her husband is a douche. Her oldest kid constantly picks fights with my oldest. It’s going to be a bunch of mincing bitches talking about their mommy groups like I give a shit while I’m working a 9-5 raising 2 kids. I want to drink. I can’t relate with these bitches but I don’t want it to look obvious. What the fuck do I drink?”

Well guess what you hot-ass moms? Here’s your drink!

Like me this can looks good. It’s a bit feminine but still masculine. It’s clean. It’s clear. I’d decorate a baby boys room with this can.

I don’t think I need to know or care that the cider is made where a prison used to be but sure?

Ingredients

Apples (no sulphites listed anywhere… Should I be worried?)

Appearance

This shit is cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear like it’s almost water.  I feel like I’m staring at 1999 Christina Ricci’s tits that’s how clear this shit is.

I mean they’re so goddamn white but I’d motorboat the shit out of those puppies.  I’m 100% an ass man but fuck I love me some titties.

Anyways, this cider is also as flat as 2019 Christina Ricci.  Time is an evil motherfucker.

Aroma

I pull it to my nose and I smell apples.  This is a good start.  There’s a slight hint of a chemical smell there but not disgusting.  It also smells a bit flat.  That I can’t explain but it’s there.

Flavour

Yeah I’m back to the flat again.  That seems to be consistent with this drink.  I want 1999 Christina Ricci goddamn it and this is what I got.

Ya she’s still hot.  Yeah that’s a heart in her hand.  It’s my heart.  Cause she took it from me like how her tits melted off.

You know how this is “0g sugar”?  You take a sip and you goddamn know why.  This is a fucking lie.  It’s apple flavoured water.  They sucked the life out of goddamn apple juice.  This is like getting a box of fucking cookies to find out they’re gluten free cookies.  Yeah it’s a box of cookies but fuck you.

Somersby Apple Flavoured Cider

Overall

6/10

This is my dads doing. I have no fucking clue why. I know Somersby has been around for a while I imagine his love of this goes back to this was the only cider that was available for years that wasn’t called Strongbow? When you live in the middle of butt-fuck Ontario this is the only cider you can find? I have no fucking clue. I’ve drunk worse… My God have I drank worse… But something is just off with this. This shit ain’t cider. You know there’s a fucking opioid problem when they just put a government add on TV telling you about Naloxone kits and the Good Samaritan law. Just like this cider I find myself just thinking “What the fuck are we doing? Like really?” All I want is to not put up with the incessant bullshit and have my dick sucked. Is that too much to ask? You know what? That shit smells like a segue. Because we’re on my dick let’s move on to…

Packaging

and a small package it is!

Sigh. tf is this? “Apple Flavoured Cider”? They get a point for proper grammar (fuck you America dropping the goddamn “u”). I mean I just have so many questions at this point but let’s look at the can and my fucking god an announcer just said that “maybe his tum tum feels better”. I wish I could make this shit up. This can… I like green. I like simplistic. I actually really enjoy the green and yellow together. I like the name. Somersby. It makes me think of some old codger piddling in a farm fixing his tractor or something. No electronics around. Simple times. Other than that… Fuck me… “Apple Flavoured Cider”?

You get one goddamn picture because you need to feel the disappointment.

Ingredients

Water, Fermented Apple Juice, Sugar, Apple Juice Concentrate, Disappointment, Citric Acid (Acidity Regulator), Flavour (Apple), Tears, Potassium Sorbate (as a Preservative), Caramel Colour, Contains Sulphites

Appearance

It took a long time for the fizz to go down on this like trying to get your wife of 5+ years to suck you off. Then again the fizz eventually does go down so I guess this cider has something on your wife? It’s got a nice mid-yellow hue.

Hue?

Aroma

Smells strong and definitely of apple. It doesn’t smell like a cider and it doesn’t smell like an apple juice. I can’t explain it. It smells like a cider I have not had before. That said, this is my first “Apple Flavoured Cider”. They just had a BMO commercial with a gay dude couple celebrating an anniversary. I mean I couldn’t give a shit but as someone who, just like with technology, grew up in a world where shit like this was not the norm for years… It’s gonna keep being weird seeing it. Difference being I ain’t no homophone. So I wanted to make a joke on this. I did an image search on “homophone gif” and I got this.

I got nothing at this point. We keep straying further from God’s light. This cider may be more proof.

Apples that are over-ripe and turning from sweet good to sweet compost. That’s the smell.

Flavour

I’m not disappointed… Shit is sweet like you wouldn’t imagine. Like too much of this and you’re going to get gut-rot. It’s good though. Like if I could imagine a world with a dessert cider this may be and example of it? I’d make some sort of weird cider float concoction with this. I have no idea what a cider float would be I just know this would be the base. Vanilla ice cream. Cinnamon. Hmmm… Pecans… Fuck.

Malus Cider House Hopped Cider

Overall

5/10 (That’s 5 out of 10 phallus’ because c’mon)

I feel like we’re trying too hard.  As a society we’ve “found” cider and as such you have every last asshat trying to throw whatever is in their kitchen into a glass to see if it works when, at the end of the day, simplicity is key.  I don’t need no fancy shit.  I’m not hating this.  I’ll nurse it and finish it.  I’m not buying another can.  I will not judge someone for buying this.  It’s just not my cup of tea.  With practice I think someone may actually like it.  It’s making me think of when I started going to The Amsterdam Brewery when they used to be on King Street West and many nights adjusting to that hops taste.

Packaging

I’m really digging this can despite the overblown religious shenanigans going on.  Like c’mon a snake and a chick and an apple.  The chick should be naked.  That said though… If I were a girl I’d be wary of trees.  Sam Raimi kind of ruined trees for me.

That said… I guess horror movies in general did that.

Seriously no good comes from trees.  Fuck trees.  They deserve to be cut up and burned.  Going around attacking women and raping them.  So anyways.. back to tree-rape free cider that rhymes with Phallus.  I like the can and I don’t like it.  Something about the clutter annoys me.  The font could be better.  It looks like another can which could pass as a c-grade art project.

Ingredients

Fermented Apple Juice, Sugar, Hops, Sulphites

Oh no… Sugar… I’m concerned.  Like genuinely… Why fucking sugar?  It’s not needed.  Why in the loving Hell do people still by apple sauce with sugar?

Appearance

Clear.  Crisp.  A little flat?  Imma call this shit Keira Knightly.

What’s important is it’s not the volume that matters cause I don’t care if flat as long as the taste is there.  I’m curious to see what I’m going to get.

Aroma

I smell hops.  It’s like someone poured cider in my beer… or beer in my cider… I’m genuinely confused.  I feel like if I was with a supermodel and was making out all night to finally start undressing and finding out she’s packing a bigger dick than me.  I mean… Up until this point it wasn’t a problem do I ride that shit out?  I don’t fucking know.  I’m shit with hypotheticals.

Flavour

Perplexed.  That’s how you sell this goddamn bider.  I’m calling it a fucking bider now.  Or should it be a cideer?  ceer?  It’s fucking weird.  You smell the hops when you pull to your nose but it’s a soft hops smell.  You take a swig and “BAM” there’s the hops but again they’re not horrible.  The hops taste goes away and it’s apple and it’s a nice apple.  There’s some body in the drink and a very, very light carbonation to the point it’s barely there.  The flavours aren’t a failure I just don’t know if it was what I was looking for.  The right person this is probably amazing.  You can taste the sugar too.  Shit is sweet like me.

Ernest Cider Impeachmint

Overall

8/10

I’m really close to giving this shit a 9 because fuck me it’s good.  I have never had such a pleasant surprise as knocking back this can.  I’ve seen God and this is the face I made.

Seriously this article is gonna have a lot of pussyfooting around but this is a damn good drink.

Packaging

So help me god these fuckers better do me right because everything here is telling me I’m in for a bad night and once again I had the folly of buying two cans of this… I mean I had to because let’s be honest.

So this can is tight. I like the Ernest brand their can style is kinda kitschy with the tartan print and it carries over to the different ciders they have. Although I’ve only reviewed one of their ciders so far they haven’t done me wrong. I love the blurb on the back. I do love me a juicy peach. I love just getting my face wet eating that peach and feeling the fuzz against my face.

Ingredients

Apples, Peaches, Honey, Organic Cane Sugar, Mint, Natural Flavours, Maltic Acid, Potassium Sorbate, Sulphites

Is there seriously someone that’s gonna give a shit if it’s organic or not? Nothing else is organic in the list. And technically everything we eat is organic so really we need to get away from this bullshit.

Appearance

I gotta say I was expecting orange and it’s kinda there at least more than apple.  Ya that picture is blurry.  Ya I could have done better.  I’m kind of distracted thinking about eating peaches.  It had a nice fizz when it came out but it subsided real quick and now it’s looking pretty flat there’s a really small bubble that remains pervasive in the glass.

Aroma

Aww shit now this smells fucking amazing.  As soon as I pull up to my nose it’s like a hit of peach.  Luckily I can’t smell the mint and I’m fucking ecstatic they didn’t decide to throw some basil in there.  Like staring at Jarrett Allen’s fro this shit has volume.  Fucking majestic.

Flavour

Oh my God that’s my jam son!

I gotta level set.  The flavour isn’t perfect.  The smell is a lot sweeter than the taste which I’m liking.  I think you can actually taste the hint of mint they tell you about too but my God does the peach stand out on this.  This is like having a 0-2 count in baseball and going fuck it I’m gonna try for a homerun anyways and then you smack one inside the park.  This shit is good and it goes down smooth.  This is very much a peach cider the apple is just the vessel to get that across.  The more you drink it the more you get a touch of the mint but it never moves past a whisper and it shouldn’t.

I love eating pussy.

Duxbury Cider Co. Original Sideroad

Overall

6/10

It’s what it is marketed as.  It’s a good middling dry cider.  I don’t know if I’m frankly being completely honest in this review because of my day/night but you know what?  I don’t give a shit.  I am 4 games into the NBA playoffs and so help me God the Spurs better fucking win so at least Deebo can get the recognition he deserves.  This was a cold goddamn can and I have no idea why.   What I do know is if cider was NBA analysts that used to be coaches then SVG is better than this cider.  I mean… c’mon you gonna tell me this man isn’t drowning in it?

And before you find yourself asking “There’s no way this man has swagger.” well guess what hot shot?  He does.

Packaging

Clean and crisp but it’s lost it’s lustre from the first dab into the Heritage 1650 I had.  What the fuck is an “Original Sideroad”?  I mean I’m saying this a someone who grew up in a very small town so I’d like to think I’m an expert on sideroads.  To me, “Original Sideroad” screams a gravel road in the middle of nowhere that is so seldom used that the gravel no longer exists and it’s just pressed dirt.  If you were to get out of your car and walk 10 feet in either direction in the ditch you’d probably find a case worth of empty beer bottles because fuck me did people drink and drive a lot when I was a child.  Christ I have vivid memories of people having coolers full of beer in their trunk so you could stop and have a pop while chatting with friends and then hop back in your car and drive on.  I digress.  The can has a nice feel and I like the brown it makes me think of that dirt road.

 

Ingredients

Ontario Apples, Sulphites

Ontario makes the best damn apples because fuck you it’s Ontario.

Appearance

Shit is clear yo!  I love the fizz that came out of this and I like the lightness of it.  It looks like it will be refreshing.  I need refreshing after my Raptors lost to Orlando.  Fucking Orlando.  Fuck you Orlando.

Aroma

It smells stiff like when I wake up from a good dream.  I can smell the apple but I can also smell booze.  The smell of booze worries me.  Oh god may I never review hard liquor because if I do I need to re-visit spiced rum and that is not something I care to do.  Despite the booze the apple does come through and it smells fresh.

Flavour

Also tastes clean.  It’s definitely strong and I would say it’s on the dry side too which is good.  The alcohol is there though and I’m not necessarily a fan of strong drinks.  I need some sort of Bizarro World from Star Trek where instead of Synthohol where it’s all the booze flavour without the drunk I want something where it’s all the drunk without the booze flavour.  I need something to stiffle the crippling annoyance of losing game one a-fucking-gain.  I’m at a point where I could probably make the most insane ludicrous bet with someone where it’s conditional on if the Raptors win game 1 of a playoff series and I’m gonna fucking lose that bet.  Next thing you know I’m being pegged with a 13 inch dildo nicknamed “Excalibur”.

Shiny Apples & Pinot Noir

Overall

5/10

What can I say?  I’m actually surprised it’s not as bad as I thought it may be.  I learned after buying this batch that maybe I shouldn’t buy two of a cider I’ve never tried before because if it’s ass I’m fucked with another bad cider.  Thank God I did not do that with the Mint and Basil fucking enema.  If I bought two of those I would personally drive to the President of Brick Brewery and give him stern words surrounding how bad that cider was and definitely would not consider doing horrible illegal things to his body that may or may not be unwanted.

So it it’s good but not amazing.  I will happily finish this can and the other can I bought at another time but I don’t know the context in which I’d enjoy drinking these because it’s not a cider I’d have on a nice summer day and it’s not a wine I’d have with a nice dinner so it’s stuck in this weird flux of not being bad but it doesn’t know what the fuck it is which is a failure.

They deserve the credit for something out of left field which works to some extent.

Packaging

I’m writing this review against duress from external forces to not drink this.  As a fuck you I simply say this as the strong independent black woman that I am.

So off the bat this is along the same as the previous review of Shiny Apple Cider.  The can stands the fuck out and this is definitely a good thing and I give them high marks for that.  I love the purple with the graphic apple which really helps to convey that it’s a mix that may not necessarily be a normal apple mix.

 

I like that the back of the can gives you a interesting set of markers concerning the makeup of the drink.  Apparently this isn’t to be drank ice cold so it’s been out of the fridge for a bit let’s see how it takes.  Will this be “Luscious+Refreshing”?  Fucked if I know but what the fuck let’s find out!

Ingredients

Cider, Red Wine, Potassium, Sorbate, Sulphites

I still want to know what the fuck a Shiny goddamn Apple is.

My god they just told people during the Toronto/Minnesota game that fans throwing objectionable hand signs would be tossed out of the game.  What the fuck is going on in America?  And the Quad City DJ’s are playing the Space Jam theme… My God I am in Heaven.  This cider needs to be good.

Appearance

I like the colour.  It’s similar to the cranberry or whatever the fuck the other one was?  Cherry.  I’m actually not the biggest fan of cherry but I know I sure as shit love a peach but that’s for another day.  So here I’ve got a good bubble came out of it.  It fizzed as soon as I popped the can and kinda jizzed on me so I’ll give them a negative there but it was quick to dissipate and now it has a really small persistent bubble it’s almost hypnotic.

Aroma

Pull it under your nose and the apple smell is there.  What’s interesting is I don’t necessarily get a smell of red wine but also of interesting note it actually smells dry.  I don’t know how that works but I can smell the dryness you get when drinking red wine.  If you drink a lot of these will you get a red wine hangover?  If so fuck that shit I’m so out.  Red wine hangovers are the “fuck me just get the gun from the drawer and end me” kind.

Flavour

Hmmmm… This one is interesting.  I’m trying to parse the flavour profile.  I had to finish a glass and I’m still perplexed.  While I attempt to figure that out let’s all admire Andrew Wiggins smile.  He’s so happy and I will continue to love Maple Jordan but my God the dude is not earning his salary.

It’s like a cider that can’t decide if it wants to be a wine.  I’m actually not against the flavour profile.  You can taste the sweetness of the apple and then it carries over with that dry kick in the back of your throat from the wine.  It’s kind of like comparing the difference between a chili heat and wasabi.  I think it goes together well though.  Now the separate question is could I drink a lot of these?  Probably not the flavour isn’t that awesome.  It does go down relatively smooth though.  The after kick from the red wine does become more pronounced as you drink it though and not in a good way.

Craft Cranberry Apple Cider

Overall

9/10

I officially need to drag my ass to wherever the hell their cidery is to meet the people behind their drinks. They are producing good simple cider that’s not shit. Simple you motherfuckers. Simple is taking things that are meant to be in a drink form and building on it. Simple is not taking the ingredients you would put in a ham roast and making a goddamn drink out of it. I can’t say if it’s the combination of last nights frustration or the success of today but drinking this cider now makes me feel like one horny ass motherfucker just drowning in good cider.

Good cider comes out of Thornbury. Embrace that shit. If a girl pissed this cider I’d be into golden showers.

Packaging

Oh boy here we go. Superficial out of the way first. This can looks good. I like their designs. I covered that in my review of their other cider. The branding is consistent and pleasant. I love the cluttered chaos of the can while then it has a great layout. Again they are showing this has had the hands of a Master Cider Maker and superficially I know Cranberry and Apple go together… Of course you can also say that Mint, Basil and Apple go together but we know how that turned out.

Ingredients

Apples, cranberry juice, cane sugar, sulphites

I gotta say I was hoping it was actually going to say “cranberries” in that they made the juice fresh. I actually hate cranberries. They’re up there with grapefruit… That said…. Fuck me I’m going to do this aren’t I?

Appearance

Now this is a pretty cider. Like being face to face with my favourite thing to drink it has a nice light flesh tone to it. The fizz is sustained with a slow dissipation to the point where now it looks almost like a glass of cranberry juice.

Aroma

Now this is a nice smell and again consistent with their other cider it’s sitting about 3 feet away from my nose and I can smell it. As I pull it to my nose it’s very similar to another cider I’m quite favourable on which is the Cherriosity by West Avenue. The cranberry definitely comes out in the smell and becomes the star of this drink.

Flavour

Bottoms up. Ooooh that’s tart. These fuckers know exactly what they’re doing. I should be drinking this in the fall with a nice thanksgiving spread. It’s like an alcoholic cranberry beverage where the apple just provides a nice hint of sweetness and light and crispness. The carbonation is just there to provide the slightest bit of an edge to it and it isn’t overpowered or underpowered in any way.

Brickworks Mint & Basil

Overall

1/10

I’m seriously contemplating changing the title of this blog to “I hate cider again…”

Either I am left out of some cruel joke or people actually like this cider.  I’m hovering on how low I can go and in doing so I’m trying to decide is this the worst cider I have ever had?

When I bought this fucking abomination the lady at the checkout said, and I’m paraphrasing, “OMG they have this cider in again!  I love it when I go to the brewery and have it on tap it’s so good!  You’ll love it.  You actually barely taste  the mint and basil.”

What an absolute load of horseshit.  In fact it’s hightly possible that adding horseshit to this may improve the taste.

I’m trying to think of a redeeming aspect of this cider.  I can’t.  If the kids like this then the kids ain’t alright.

I feel like if I were to cut off my dick right now it may make me happier.  If I did I’d mail it to Brick Brewery so they can fuck themselves with it.

Packaging

This shit has me so goddamn scared.  I was at the LCBO in Newmarket to get some Tawse and this can stood out and I thought to myself “Just because we can… Should we?”  I feel like we are straying further from God’s Light with this cider.

I actually quite like the look of the can.  Brickworks has some pretty tight design principles when it comes to their cans.  This looks fresh.  I wish I could dance.  I see people dancing on the TV in Charlotte for the Raptors game and it’s not that I don’t have rhythm.  It’s like I’m broken it’s really bad.

I like the little story on the can which at least gives you some context on why the fuck they would put mint and basil in a cider.

Ingredients

Cider, Apple Juice, Carbonated Water, Mint, Basil, Maltic acid, Sulphites

At this point can we even call it a cider?  I feel like technically this should be a carbonated cider flavoured beverage or if you want something shorter, an abomination.

Appearance

Colour me surprised this shit ain’t green like drinking The Hulks piss.  It’s actually a good mid-yellow tinge very much looks like apple juice.  The carbonation was a bit of a sustained bubble but now it’s subsided.

Aroma

You pull this to your nose and you can smell the apple but it’s very subtle.  What you do get is a strong note of the mint and basil.  More on the mint than the basil.  It’s not disgusting.  It’s more that I don’t necessarily want to smell that in my drink.

Flavour

Oh my god why?  Just why.  I’m stating it now.  I am going forward, no matter how shit the drink is, I need to drink it all.  I am now secretly judging every last person that has bought and enjoyed this cider.  I feel like if I was a homeless alcoholic this is how it would feel that first day you can no longer afford booze and have to resort to drinking mouthwash.  You could pour this slowly down the waiting naked body of Heidi Klum and I would think twice before licking it off of her.  I mean I still would because fuck you I’m not insane but I’d think twice.  I’d then look her in the eye while I’m tasting her mixed with this cider and tell her “The shit I do for you Heidi.  The shit I do for you.”

You get past the “What the fuck am I drinking” and it’s actually got notes of water in it.

Tawse Cider

Overall

8/10

I’ve had this a few times as Biermarket in downtown Toronto.  I’d even argue this is probably one of the first ciders I truly enjoyed.  How can Texas be so goddamn Republican and repressed with such a large Mexican population?  I”m watching the San Antonio Spurs play basketball and there’s a mariachi band playing.  You know what doesn’t go with cider?  Mariachi bands.

This cider is good.  Drink it at Biermarket.  Drink it at home.  Just make sure you drink it.  Enjoy it.  I’ve had enough cider to know it’s good enough that it’s not common.

Packaging

Again with the goddamn Christmas in a can except this time it’s blue and white so I guess Chrismukkah?  Jewish Cider?  It’s no longer my uncle’s dick it’s now Milton Berle’s massive member.  I don’t get it.  I mean I need to talk about the packaging so on that it’s tight.  I like the design.  The logo is nice.  Colours are nice.  It’s very minimalist.  I’ve also noticed there’s a “Ontario Craft Cider” on the can.  I need to revisit that.  I’m curious how you get that logo.  Is it make belief like the litany of gluten free labels?  So ya, lightning bolt snowflakes don’t really scream “cider” to me but whatever floats your boat.

Ingredients

Cider

This is consistently lazy shit.  I mean I get it.  It’s fucking apples.  Liquid apples are cider.  But c’mon.  Give me a breakdown of the apples as an example.  Give me something.

Appearance

This one is unique.  The fizz is quick the hit and then dissipates really quick too.  I swear the bubbles are actually smaller than other ciders and far more prevalent.  I’d say from a pour perspective this is probably an outlier in cider.  It’s not like the other ones.  Nice lighter colour leaning away from the standard apple juice look.

Aroma

A nice apple smell when you pull it to your nose.  A little bit more than subtle and you can smell the apple is the star.

Flavour

Now this is nice apple.  As soon as it hits your lips you can taste the apple and you can actually taste a freshness there which again is not necessarily common in ciders.  It almost has a quality to it like it was made very recently and I’m reaping the benefits of good luck.  It’s not dry.  It’s not sweet.  It’s a good middle ground.  Despite all the bubbles this goes down smoother than your girl in a bar washroom when she’s gearing to suck dick.  Fuck and now I’m horny.

Brickworks Batch:1904

Overall

6/10

I really want to like this cider.  As someone who refers to having two childhoods this cider really speaks to my second one where I grew up in Toronto.  Nothing about this cider is bad until you hit the carbonation and then it just throws all the good out the window and then I’m left sitting here in the dark alone watching the Raptors mop the floor with what Chicago is pretending is a basketball team.  I feel for Chicago I really do.  They’ve had some shit luck with injuries this year but I feel I could get on the floor with them right now and they wouldn’t be much worse.

So try this cider.  If you like heartburn it’s for you.  If you plan on having a few of these make sure you keep a roll of tums around.

Packaging

Like Seagram before something about this can just seems… meh.  Aesthetically I’m not complaining.  I actually love the design and details on this can.  I like the colours.  The font choice.  It really has a feel that, if you’re in graphic design it’s almost got a magazine layout feel.  Because of the good layout they’re able to throw a lot of info on the can without it feeling cluttered.  All that said, it’s got no soul.  This can is like the red-headed step-child of cider.

Ingredients

Cider

What the fuck is this supposed to even mean?  This is like buying a DiGiorno pizza from the grocery store and it saying “Ingredients: Pizza”.  Fuck you.

Appearance

Ooooh boy this is gonna come out a lot in the flavour section but you seeing this shit?  That is way too much goddamn carbonation.  Remember when I alluded to the fizz you get when you pour peroxide on a wound?  That’s what this was.  Shit ain’t right.  Now that it’s settled?  It’s like the opposite there’s no sign of bubbles.  Now it looks flat.

Aroma

You gotta pull it real close to smell the apple.  It’s there but it’s hiding.  As for the smell it’s got a nice tartness to it.  Just enough and not too much.  Could use with being less subtle.  I’m starting to notice now that a big problem ciders seem to have is expressing that smell.  They’re consistently just muted.

Flavour

FML.  You know that look?  That fizz?  You thing this shit is flat but as soon as you down your first sip you realise this is so goddamn carbonated it’s no joke.  If I wasn’t so adverse to wasting alcohol I swear this shit could strip the rust of a nail in no time flat.  Flavour-wise it’s not bad.  It’s got a tart quality to it.  It’s not too sweet or sugary at all.  The problem with this cider keeps coming back to the carbonation.  They gotta sort out what they’re doing cause it’s what’s keeping a half-decent cider from being better.