Eden Grove Perfect Pear Cider

Overall 1/10 The hall of shame is growing.  I actually really love pears but after this review… FML. Don’t buy this shit.  Like ever.  There’s no reason for it.  I got nothing.  Read the review.  If you still feel like you want to try this don’t say I didn’t warn you and also you’re an […]

Golden State Cider Mighty Dry

Overall 6/10 Are we at war with Eurasia or Eastasia now?  I can never get that straight.  I don’t get why you fuckers are dancing.  This cider is good.  Distance might make me enjoy it more knowing I’m not going to have another one of these soon. 1 can had 200 calories.  Jesus Fucking Christ.  […]

Tempt 9 Strawberry & Lime Flavoured Cider

Overall 8/10 This is not a drink to get drunk on nor is this a cider but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.  This is magical.  I’m actually thinking of all the things I would potentially do with this drink.  I’m thinking about buying a case of it and making a cider sangria with it.  I […]

Ernest Cider – Now Gay!

Overall 7/10 Fucked if I can remember what I reviewed this the last time and I’m too damn lazy to look.  I think it’s grown on me like my love of a big – oh fuck I shouldn’t start that again. Revel in your month gay people.  I know it’s almost over.  Spend that load. […]

Molson Canadian Cider

Overall 2/10 People can’t be encouraged to drink this shit it is objectively bad in how blah it is. If this cider were half as good as the actress who plays Elaine is hot I might consider having another one of these before letting my neighbours dog piss in my mouth.  Fuck now I’m transfixed […]

Lonetree Authentic Dry Cider

Overall 4/10 This this is disappointing me.  This is like when you want glorious underboob and you get sideboob.  I mean underboob is where it’s at. This cider is the sideboob of cider.  I’m gonna take a break while I finish drinking this disappointment. Jesus be like this. I’m all like Packaging Imma be a […]

Lost Craft Premium Craft Cider

Overall 4/10 I’m not saying it’s bad but it’s just lacking. It screams simple but not in the way like say the Thornbury Cider but in the “I don’t know how to make traditional cider” kind of way. There’s shit out there far worse than this one but not necessarily as disappointing. This is like […]

Pommies Original Cider

Overall 5/10 I had a long spiel here but this review is annoying the shit out of me. Twice now I’ve been typing and I’ve lost my revision so I have to type this shit again and it’s fucking annoying and I’m not in the goddamn fucking mood to deal with your shit WordPress. I […]

Farmed & Dangerous Cider

Overall 5/10 Seriously this continues to be the only goddamn thing of value that came out of Hamilton.  Billy Van is a goddamn national treasure and “The Hilarious House of Frightenstein” should be required viewing for all Canadians. That said, this cider is shit like being stuck watching CHCH on a Sunday Night cause your […]