Tawse Cider



I’ve had this a few times as Biermarket in downtown Toronto.  I’d even argue this is probably one of the first ciders I truly enjoyed.  How can Texas be so goddamn Republican and repressed with such a large Mexican population?  I”m watching the San Antonio Spurs play basketball and there’s a mariachi band playing.  You know what doesn’t go with cider?  Mariachi bands.

This cider is good.  Drink it at Biermarket.  Drink it at home.  Just make sure you drink it.  Enjoy it.  I’ve had enough cider to know it’s good enough that it’s not common.


Again with the goddamn Christmas in a can except this time it’s blue and white so I guess Chrismukkah?  Jewish Cider?  It’s no longer my uncle’s dick it’s now Milton Berle’s massive member.  I don’t get it.  I mean I need to talk about the packaging so on that it’s tight.  I like the design.  The logo is nice.  Colours are nice.  It’s very minimalist.  I’ve also noticed there’s a “Ontario Craft Cider” on the can.  I need to revisit that.  I’m curious how you get that logo.  Is it make belief like the litany of gluten free labels?  So ya, lightning bolt snowflakes don’t really scream “cider” to me but whatever floats your boat.



This is consistently lazy shit.  I mean I get it.  It’s fucking apples.  Liquid apples are cider.  But c’mon.  Give me a breakdown of the apples as an example.  Give me something.


This one is unique.  The fizz is quick the hit and then dissipates really quick too.  I swear the bubbles are actually smaller than other ciders and far more prevalent.  I’d say from a pour perspective this is probably an outlier in cider.  It’s not like the other ones.  Nice lighter colour leaning away from the standard apple juice look.


A nice apple smell when you pull it to your nose.  A little bit more than subtle and you can smell the apple is the star.


Now this is nice apple.  As soon as it hits your lips you can taste the apple and you can actually taste a freshness there which again is not necessarily common in ciders.  It almost has a quality to it like it was made very recently and I’m reaping the benefits of good luck.  It’s not dry.  It’s not sweet.  It’s a good middle ground.  Despite all the bubbles this goes down smoother than your girl in a bar washroom when she’s gearing to suck dick.  Fuck and now I’m horny.