Magners Irish Cider Original

Overall 6/10 I’ll take it.  It’s not overly bad.  If there were 2 ciders on the shelf at the store (this and Strongbow) I think I’d edge out on this one.  It’ll do the job when you want an enjoyable cider that doesn’t turn you into the fucking leprechaun. Packaging Imagine old people drinking cider […]

Strongbow Gold

Overall 7/10 Not my cup of tea but then again it’s not fucking tea it’s a goddamn apple cider ya turd.  I enjoy it.  I enjoy it more than many other ciders I’ve had.  And this gif sums that up perfectly.  You’re thinking “WTF is up here?  Oh shit ‘dis kid dumb! Oh wait.  It’s […]

D’ont Poke The Bear

Overall 6/10 If I’m going to attempt to poke the eye out of a bear I’m not going to use my finger that’s for damn sure.  I’d own that shit and use my penis.  H’ows that for asserting dominance?  Seriously?  A dinosaur dildo? This is another…. AFUCKINGNOTHER… middling cider.  Not bad.  Not good.  Not horrible.  […]

Sarah Cole Premium Cider Whip

Overall 6/10 Dance you glorious girls. Dance! Whip that fucking Nae Nae! Can I say it’s kinda weird that whip became a very urbanized term when historically if you’re black… Whips ain’t normally shit you want to be talking about in a jocular way. I mean, unless you’re Dave Chappelle. RIP Charlie Murphy. Fuck you […]

Ernest Wild Blueberry Cider

Overall 6/10 As it stands this is their weakest cider yet.  It’s good don’t get me wrong.  I may have to go back and revisit it as the first cider on a nice afternoon and it may change my outlook.  It’s got a simplicity about itself but it’s missing something to kick it up.  Might […]

Ernest Cider Rubee

Overall 7/10 I’ll be honest this ain’t my thing but at the same time it’s damn good.  I’m not a fan of tart cherries.  I’m not a fan of cranberries.  Fuck I didn’t used to be a fan of cider but you know what?  Here I fucking am and its not bad. Imagine making it […]

Growers Honeycrisp Apple

Overall 6/10 This cider has the potential to grow in on you if you give it the chance.  It’s a cider that really needs to be in your mouth to appreciate.  Sure there may be better ciders out there but there’s also worse.  I have to give it a 6 because that’s a good number […]

Brickworks Rose Cider

Overall 4/10 Kevin Sorbo where you at? And that’s it in a nutshell.  I’d drink this begrudgingly on thanksgiving along with all of the other cranberry crap that’s forced on us who don’t like cranberries. Packaging This is the most boring-ass design I have ever come across in a can and lord knows I love […]

Liberty Village Extra Dry Cider

Overall 3/10 Apple goddamn-flavoured water.  This shit is just disappointing like a red-headed step-child. I’m sorry Ryan.  I can’t love you because you’re a soulless anomaly.  Like Harry Potter I would lock your ass under a stairwell with this cider to think about what you are and why no one loves you. Packaging You’re thinking […]