Somersby – Red Rhubarb Flavoured Cider



better than any cider you name the time and place.

I think I have other rhubarb ciders in the fridge I’m hoping I can be impressed where this didn’t. On it’s own this is sweet AF but if you have more than one of these it’s like a time machine back to 1996 and you’re drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade and gonna yak at the end of the night.

This shit fell flatter than Kiera Knightley before being airbrushed.

Be real though. She better on the left. If she’s the chairwoman of the itty bitty titty commitee Imma doing her coffee runs.


What can I say? I appreciate their consistency in their branding but it’s just pedestrian at this point. This is very much a cider that is geared towards selling to your grandparents and finding in the smallest stingiest hole in the ground no matter where you are in the world.

In searching for rhubarb gifs I’m coming up short so here’s a tooting animal.

I don’t get it. I’m not expecting you to either.

I appreciate that they use the proper spelling of “flavour” I’ve brought this up before. Imagine the irony that my fucking laptop isn’t recognizing that as the proper spelling. Goddamn American spelling of things.

Back to their branding. It’s bland as shit but as I said it’s consistent which in this day and age means something.

Yeah we spelling this shit out. See how it matters?


Water, apple wine (water, sugar, apple juice concentrate), sugar, apple juice concentrate, carbon dioxide, citric acid (acidifier), lemon juice concentrate, natural flavour, potassium sorbate (preservative), carrot extract, colour. Contains sulphites.

Jesus Christ that was a novel to type out there.

… and now I’m refreshed to keep this post going.

I want you to pause. Look at that list of ingredients. Tell me what is missing. I’ll wait.

I’m not gonna wait forever.

So look at the name of the cider. “Red rhubarb flavoured cider”. What’s missing from the ingredients list? I’m skeptical although technically this could be listed under “Natural Flavours”. You know arsenic is a “Natural Flavour” could they hide that in there too?


It’s not red. It’s not orange. It’s not yellow. Oddly it matches the can to some extent? It had a good fizz and a good bubble which has since dissipated pretty hard. Now it straight up looks like juice. But there’s something you need to know about me a juice.

all of it motherfucker.


That shit ain’t rhubarb. That shit is red rhubarb flavoured cider! Just from smelling this crap I’m feeling the disappointment.

Dude you’re off your fucking meds. Please go back on them.

I can’t explain the smell. It smells like apple juice. There’s something else there but it sure as shit isn’t rhubarb.


Don’t eat dark chocolate and then drink cider. That was my first mistake.

Second mistake? Expecting goodness out of this. If there was any more sugar in this I’d be in a diabetic coma.

seriously this shit is goddamn sweet.

So you’re done your sugar rush how does this sit? Tastes like an apple juice from concentrate with a little something something in it.