I think I have other rhubarb ciders in the fridge I’m hoping I can be impressed where this didn’t. On it’s own this is sweet AF but if you have more than one of these it’s like a time machine back to 1996 and you’re drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade and gonna yak at the end of the night.
This shit fell flatter than Kiera Knightley before being airbrushed.
What can I say? I appreciate their consistency in their branding but it’s just pedestrian at this point. This is very much a cider that is geared towards selling to your grandparents and finding in the smallest stingiest hole in the ground no matter where you are in the world.
In searching for rhubarb gifs I’m coming up short so here’s a tooting animal.
I appreciate that they use the proper spelling of “flavour” I’ve brought this up before. Imagine the irony that my fucking laptop isn’t recognizing that as the proper spelling. Goddamn American spelling of things.
Back to their branding. It’s bland as shit but as I said it’s consistent which in this day and age means something.
Water, apple wine (water, sugar, apple juice concentrate), sugar, apple juice concentrate, carbon dioxide, citric acid (acidifier), lemon juice concentrate, natural flavour, potassium sorbate (preservative), carrot extract, colour. Contains sulphites.
Jesus Christ that was a novel to type out there.
I want you to pause. Look at that list of ingredients. Tell me what is missing. I’ll wait.
So look at the name of the cider. “Red rhubarb flavoured cider”. What’s missing from the ingredients list? I’m skeptical although technically this could be listed under “Natural Flavours”. You know arsenic is a “Natural Flavour” could they hide that in there too?
It’s not red. It’s not orange. It’s not yellow. Oddly it matches the can to some extent? It had a good fizz and a good bubble which has since dissipated pretty hard. Now it straight up looks like juice. But there’s something you need to know about me a juice.
That shit ain’t rhubarb. That shit is red rhubarb flavoured cider! Just from smelling this crap I’m feeling the disappointment.
I can’t explain the smell. It smells like apple juice. There’s something else there but it sure as shit isn’t rhubarb.
Don’t eat dark chocolate and then drink cider. That was my first mistake.
Second mistake? Expecting goodness out of this. If there was any more sugar in this I’d be in a diabetic coma.
So you’re done your sugar rush how does this sit? Tastes like an apple juice from concentrate with a little something something in it.