PSA – Lemons and Limes

All the live long fucking time.

Is that Gordon Ramsay or is it me? Yeah yeah it’s Gordon Ramsay you fucking wanker!

So today I had an epiphany. It’s hot today. Not just hot but as someone who has grown up and lived in Southern Ontario their whole life this summer is like dipping your toes in the furnace that is Hell.

This is in fact me stepping outside.

So seriously shit it hot outside. It ain’t natural no matter what anyone says. Global warming is here. I still idle my car in the driveway in the winter because fuck you. I know it’s wrong. I can feel it’s wrong. But if life is a series of events leading you to nuggets of amazing then this is for you.

So I’m out BBQ in my backyard. I wanted a cider. I grabbed one of my daily drivers when I don’t want to get fucked which is Thornbury Village. I tend to gravitate towards lime because lime is just magical but for some reason I have angered the Gods and lime is nowhere to be found. I do, however, have a bag of lemons.

So many lemons!

So I cut one in half. Put in a nice cold glass of ice. Poured the cider over top.

Wait for it.


Shit is so cash. I highly recommend it. Should I find out why I inexplicably have found myself without limes and rectify it, then I will try the same thing but I’m expecting the same magical results. For you dimwits out there, citris is magic and citris goes well with apples.

Citrix however can be both annoying and frustrating to support.

To close out. Let’s have a nice summer song. It’s like a choose your own adventure.

  1. You’re a child in which case why the fuck are you here? You may also be Josef Fritzl.

2. You’re more than likely a white woman.

3. You’re cool like me.

4. You white motherfucker.

5. You high AF and here for the laughs.