I’m seriously contemplating changing the title of this blog to “I hate cider again…”
Either I am left out of some cruel joke or people actually like this cider. I’m hovering on how low I can go and in doing so I’m trying to decide is this the worst cider I have ever had?
When I bought this fucking abomination the lady at the checkout said, and I’m paraphrasing, “OMG they have this cider in again! I love it when I go to the brewery and have it on tap it’s so good! You’ll love it. You actually barely taste the mint and basil.”
What an absolute load of horseshit. In fact it’s hightly possible that adding horseshit to this may improve the taste.
I’m trying to think of a redeeming aspect of this cider. I can’t. If the kids like this then the kids ain’t alright.
I feel like if I were to cut off my dick right now it may make me happier. If I did I’d mail it to Brick Brewery so they can fuck themselves with it.
This shit has me so goddamn scared. I was at the LCBO in Newmarket to get some Tawse and this can stood out and I thought to myself “Just because we can… Should we?” I feel like we are straying further from God’s Light with this cider.
I actually quite like the look of the can. Brickworks has some pretty tight design principles when it comes to their cans. This looks fresh. I wish I could dance. I see people dancing on the TV in Charlotte for the Raptors game and it’s not that I don’t have rhythm. It’s like I’m broken it’s really bad.
I like the little story on the can which at least gives you some context on why the fuck they would put mint and basil in a cider.
Cider, Apple Juice, Carbonated Water, Mint, Basil, Maltic acid, Sulphites
At this point can we even call it a cider? I feel like technically this should be a carbonated cider flavoured beverage or if you want something shorter, an abomination.
Colour me surprised this shit ain’t green like drinking The Hulks piss. It’s actually a good mid-yellow tinge very much looks like apple juice. The carbonation was a bit of a sustained bubble but now it’s subsided.
You pull this to your nose and you can smell the apple but it’s very subtle. What you do get is a strong note of the mint and basil. More on the mint than the basil. It’s not disgusting. It’s more that I don’t necessarily want to smell that in my drink.
Oh my god why? Just why. I’m stating it now. I am going forward, no matter how shit the drink is, I need to drink it all. I am now secretly judging every last person that has bought and enjoyed this cider. I feel like if I was a homeless alcoholic this is how it would feel that first day you can no longer afford booze and have to resort to drinking mouthwash. You could pour this slowly down the waiting naked body of Heidi Klum and I would think twice before licking it off of her. I mean I still would because fuck you I’m not insane but I’d think twice. I’d then look her in the eye while I’m tasting her mixed with this cider and tell her “The shit I do for you Heidi. The shit I do for you.”
You get past the “What the fuck am I drinking” and it’s actually got notes of water in it.