Overall 4/10 I’m not saying it’s bad but it’s just lacking. It screams simple but not in the way like say the Thornbury Cider but in the “I don’t know how to make traditional cider” kind of way. There’s shit out there far worse than this one but not necessarily as disappointing. This is like […]
Category Archives: Ontario
Pommies Original Cider
Overall 5/10 I had a long spiel here but this review is annoying the shit out of me. Twice now I’ve been typing and I’ve lost my revision so I have to type this shit again and it’s fucking annoying and I’m not in the goddamn fucking mood to deal with your shit WordPress. I […]
Farmed & Dangerous Cider
Overall 5/10 Seriously this continues to be the only goddamn thing of value that came out of Hamilton. Billy Van is a goddamn national treasure and “The Hilarious House of Frightenstein” should be required viewing for all Canadians. That said, this cider is shit like being stuck watching CHCH on a Sunday Night cause your […]
D’ont Poke The Bear
Overall 6/10 If I’m going to attempt to poke the eye out of a bear I’m not going to use my finger that’s for damn sure. I’d own that shit and use my penis. H’ows that for asserting dominance? Seriously? A dinosaur dildo? This is another…. AFUCKINGNOTHER… middling cider. Not bad. Not good. Not horrible. […]
Sarah Cole Premium Cider Whip
Overall 6/10 Dance you glorious girls. Dance! Whip that fucking Nae Nae! Can I say it’s kinda weird that whip became a very urbanized term when historically if you’re black… Whips ain’t normally shit you want to be talking about in a jocular way. I mean, unless you’re Dave Chappelle. RIP Charlie Murphy. Fuck you […]
Ernest Wild Blueberry Cider
Overall 6/10 As it stands this is their weakest cider yet. It’s good don’t get me wrong. I may have to go back and revisit it as the first cider on a nice afternoon and it may change my outlook. It’s got a simplicity about itself but it’s missing something to kick it up. Might […]
Ernest Cider Rubee
Overall 7/10 I’ll be honest this ain’t my thing but at the same time it’s damn good. I’m not a fan of tart cherries. I’m not a fan of cranberries. Fuck I didn’t used to be a fan of cider but you know what? Here I fucking am and its not bad. Imagine making it […]
No Boats On Sunday 100% Ontario Hopped Cider
Overall 6/10 Seriously who deepthroats a goddamn neck of a beer bottle? You confused yet? Fucking enjoy the journey into the madness of my high school years. Will I review beer one day? So if you like cider with hops? I’ve given you two choices now. Fuck the other one get this one instead. Packaging […]
Growers Honeycrisp Apple
Overall 6/10 This cider has the potential to grow in on you if you give it the chance. It’s a cider that really needs to be in your mouth to appreciate. Sure there may be better ciders out there but there’s also worse. I have to give it a 6 because that’s a good number […]
Brickworks Rose Cider
Overall 4/10 Kevin Sorbo where you at? And that’s it in a nutshell. I’d drink this begrudgingly on thanksgiving along with all of the other cranberry crap that’s forced on us who don’t like cranberries. Packaging This is the most boring-ass design I have ever come across in a can and lord knows I love […]