I’m not saying it’s bad but it’s just lacking. It screams simple but not in the way like say the Thornbury Cider but in the “I don’t know how to make traditional cider” kind of way. There’s shit out there far worse than this one but not necessarily as disappointing. This is like watching Gangs of New York except instead of violence it’s this.
It’s not bad but it’s not what I wanted and it’s mostly just gay. Miss me with that gay shit.
I’m actually surprised that gold isn’t used more when selling apple cider as it does kinda fit. I really can’t think of a better combination than gold and app-
Yeah you know what? That’s not changing my opinion. Still fucking awesome.
There’s something about this can. I love the minimal aspect of it. The branding is really on point. I really don’t know their brand but this can stands out. I’d give this can a solid B in terms of marketing but without knowing what else falls in their brand I don’t know how (in)consistent that might be. A lot of the wording does fall flat though. “…using all natural apples…”
God I’d bang the shit out of Suzanne Sommers.
Again, I don’t like blondes.
Cider, Contains Sulphites
I’m pacing myself cause I have another review on tap for later so I’m gonna leave it at this and not nitpick. It’s fucking nonsense but what would be more nonsense is if it was spelled “cidre”. I’d smack someone if they did that.
This is some pale shit. Only way it would look paler would be if it was being held by a blonde surrounded by- ya scratch that. Anyways its pale and it lacks bubbles. It’s very much got a look of apple juice but light apple juice.
Pulling to my nose it’s subtle apple but there. Seems to be a defining quality of apple cider when done half right. I’ll take that over smell of alcohol or a weird chemical smell. That shit is too rampant too so you know what? Little fucking victories.
Shit is so sweet. What’s with the rash of sweet cider recently? These fuckers seem to be lost in the concept of the types of apples that you need for a good cider and sometimes you need crab apples. This just seems like they’re trying too hard with the apples you’d buy from an orchard and eat and enjoy. Its not horrible but its lacking complexity and depth. It’s like conversing with a retard.
Oh FYI this blog isnt PG. It’s not PC for that matter either.
TIME TO MASTURBATE.