Strongbow Gold



Not my cup of tea but then again it’s not fucking tea it’s a goddamn apple cider ya turd.  I enjoy it.  I enjoy it more than many other ciders I’ve had.  And this gif sums that up perfectly.  You’re thinking “WTF is up here?  Oh shit ‘dis kid dumb! Oh wait.  It’s actually good!”


Yeah son, that’s what I do to my penis and I’m always gonna be better than you at that.


Simple and to the point.  I think at this point we all know the Strongbow label regardless of we drank it before or not.  Strongbow is like cider before it was cool.  I knew a chick to swore by Strongbow.  It must have been trying times for her 25 years ago when no-one knew what the fuck cider was.



Cider, Flavour (Apple), Contains Sulphites

“Flavour (Apple)”

Fuck it.  I’m out!


What madness is this? A white background? Is the KKK sponsoring this review? What sort of Final Solution could come from this review?

Luckily it’s not juice!  It’s cider!

The bubbles. They came and they gone. Like a divorced father saying goodbye to his paycheck. Like a married woman giving her husband blowjobs. Like a 10 year old boy hugging his parents. It’s there then goodbye.


Smells like apples. Actually a really subtle apple aroma and pleasant too. I have to say I’m surprised and I’m going to run with it. It’s simple. There’s shit to be stressed to all you mint and basil fuckers. Simple is just fine. Just don’t go full retard.  No matter how much fun it may seem at the time.


Hot damn. I mean it’s definitely sweet but this is a drink that screams summer patio at lunch. The lightness of it speaks to the casual nature of the drink.  I like.