Ernest Cider – Now Gay!



Fucked if I can remember what I reviewed this the last time and I’m too damn lazy to look.  I think it’s grown on me like my love of a big – oh fuck I shouldn’t start that again.

Revel in your month gay people.  I know it’s almost over.  Spend that load.


The whole reason I’m doing this review again.  This is just fucking genius.  These people have really top tier marketing and it all ties together on the consistency of their overall brand.  This can stands out.  I’ve been drinking cider consistently for a little over a year now and this is my second year buying these over Pride Month.  This is just a beautiful can to look at and it’s surprising that you go into the LCBO or Beer Store and companies en masse do nothing to even acknowledge Pride Month.  Kind of sad if you think about it.

They’re putting their money where their mouth is too.  10 cents from every can they’re donating to Rainbow Road which is damn cool.  People tend to forget that many people, gays included, up until very recently were getting persecuted the fuck out of.  Hell, in places not called the 1st world it’s still happening.  Is it bad I’m now thinking how the southern States can no longer be referred to as the 1st world?

Rainbow and all this can really makes me think of my penis.  Taste the rainbow baby.

I’ve been told since I’m not really a rainbow like this can.  I’m also not big like this can either.  I’m a horrible horny depraved man.


The ingredients haven’t changed.  Maybe they snuck in some of that fucking water in the states that makes the frogs gay?

mfw.  Seriously though, nothing is making the fucking frogs gay.  Jesus Christ people.


It looks the same as the last time I reviewed it so fuck off already.  I mean who cares about appearance anyway?  Why can’t I just be me?  If I want to wear fucking flower earrings it doesn’t make me gay.  Nor do pink pants… Or a pink shirt… Fuck maybe I am gay?  If I am that means I gotta ramp up my sass!  So you know that girl that sits across from you at work?


Smells the same too.  Are you really expecting something different?  It’s actually got a pretty strong apple smell.  One of the strongest apple smells for a cider I have drank.  It’s a good apple smell.  You can’t mistake this is a cider.  They ain’t hiding it.  Just like showing up with your “friend” at the family Christmas Party like this.

We all know you’re gay.  Stop trying to hide it already.


I think my palate may have changed over the months (year?) since I’ve been drinking cider.  This is definitely a strong cider.  It can be deadly as fuck.  Keeping with the theme you drink too many of these and you’re yacking a rainbow.

That said, it’s still damn fucking good.  We’re talking that porn when you watch it and you don’t want to see a tiny dick.  Who wants to see a tiny dick when they’re watching porn?  No.  You want to see a good proper cock.  That’s where we are.  This cider is like when you’re watching porn and you get to see a good proper cock.  No offense to my small penis friends out there.  You know who you are.

Seriously dude full on raped women.  Fuck you Bill Cosby.