Shiny Apple Cider



I’m trying to decide if this is a case of you can judge a book by it’s cover or you can’t judge a book by it’s cover.  The can is all flash which would entertain the idea that the cider would be just that.  All flash and a let down.  It isn’t.  Or you could say the can is just ugly as shit and the cider will be to.  It isn’t.  This cider, although 7% (watch the fuck out on these), surprisingly smooth and not strong.  If these were at a bar and some hapless person started slugging these back next thing you know you’re making out with a manly chick with a thick Russian accent heavily implying you go back to her place when you really don’t want to because you want to just play darts with your friends.  So ya, enjoy this cider.  Revel in it.  But play safe cause too many and it’ll take your eye out and I can’t handle another turn on tonight.


I’m trying to figure out where I want to start with this. I mean it’s not bad. It definitely stands out. It may not make sense but in terms of “apple” colours we’re kinda fucked with red and green being the staples. I mean, if you look at this can objectively it screams “SHINY” and that’s no lie so I guess to their benefit they met their goal? But what the fuck is a “shiny Ontario Apple”? Methinks that’s bullshit based on a quick !ddg search but I may be wrong. Other than that this can is very superficial and I hope it’s not a sign of things to come. I’m very much a “judge a book by its cover” kind of guy. We all fucking do it. I refuse to pretend we don’t. So I’m judging this shit and I’m judging it harsh. I’m getting a bad impression that this cider is gonna be like a fat girl with a cute face wearing way too much makeup.



Fucked if I know, “Made with 100% Shiny Ontario Apples” whatever the fuck that means, sulphites


I just realised that without trusting me that this is a different cider every time I could just put the same goddamn picture each time.  I gotta re-think this picture concept.  There was a minor fizz when I popped the can and it was gone on the pour.  I’m looking at the glass now thinking to myself my god the tits on that girl in the background at the raptors game in the stands… I wanna motorboat those.  Then I realise it looks like flat ginger ale.


Subdued apple smell but it is there as you pull it to your nose.  As you bring it close it’s really subtle and when it gets under your nose it’s kinda gone.  Nothing unappealing with it though.


Colour me surprised.  It’s actually not that bad.  That’s actually an understatement.  It’s pretty damn good.  The fizz is there but not overpowering and the apple really comes through though definitely on the sweet side.  There’s a sweetness there that’s a bit different though.  It’s almost like it’s a more full-bodied sweetness.  It’s like comparing demerara sugar with refined white sugar.  It’s got an aftertaste too which is also pleasant.  Again the apple sits and doesn’t go away.