Reinhart’s Red Apple Cider Strong



Buyer fucking beware on these.  They are good and they’re fucking 7%.  That shit is not a good mix if you want to be responsible.

Or you can just embrace it?  I think this is as strong as I’ll go with my cider.  But I sure as shit will drink it again.

Yeah I’ve been slacking.  Fuck you.  I don’t get paid for this shit.  This is how my methodology works.


I’m not gonna lie. This can is tight. I’m a huge fan of the simplicity and it’s edgy af. The gold is always good and let’s be honest, it’s not associated with apples near as much as green and red but it’s just as appropriate. Makes me wonder what the fuck is with the symbolism behind golden apples? tl’dr – “Religion Yo!”

Now Stephen King. He’s written some fucked up stories. I’m watching the remake of Pet Sematary again and keep reminding myself he wrote all these when he was up on coke all the live-long day. But I digress.

So this bitchin’ can here. It’s not just the gold it’s the flat black. Fuck me do I have a thing for flat black. I mean this looks sexy as fuck but could you imagine the goddamn fingerprints everywhere?

It’s generously fermented whatever the fuck that means. Part of me likes that they call out that’s it’s naturally vegan and gluten free. Like get it through your heads you dense fuckers trying to hop onto trends.


Anyways, here’s to me again holding something large and black. I feel like I should have both hands on the goddamn can.


Contains 100% Apples with No Artificial Ingredients, Contains Sulphites

Seriously they need some standards on labelling on alcoholic beverages. This shit ain’t acceptable.

How the fuck hard is it to do this?


That is a tight motherfucking bubble and it’s clung right to the side of the can.  This is like ginger ale on steroids.  I’m leaning towards the word “Schweppeffervescence” but if those fuckers were smart it’d be trademarked.  John Cleese you’re awesome.

There’s a good mid-hue colour to it.  Definitely “apple-y”.


Ooooh boy.  Shit smells strong.  It’s not in a fully bad way, but I’m afraid I may regret the fact that this is 7%.  Thank God I am only having one can.  I can’t fully say I smell the booze.  It’s clearly apple.  But there’s something there.  So let’s be clear.  It comes in a big black package.  It’s strong.  It has a smell to it.  So far this shit is like Michael Jai White in a can.

You pull it to your nose and damn there be apple in there.


Fuck me… This is good.  It doesn’t taste strong at all.  It actually goes down smooth.  So it looks like Michael Jai White but really it’s fucking Donald Glover 

Now to be clear that’s not knocking on the cider or Donald Glover.  This shit is still fucking good.

I will attribute to the strength you can still taste a note of “This shit is strong” but it’s not something to make you stop.  I’ve had about half a glass and too many of these you’re probably gonna find yourself boxing a wall or some shit.  Like the hipster equivalent of when you feed a newfie whiskey.

Drink enough of this shit and you’re gonna crip walk like you know Snow White is about to start.