Duntroon Cyder House Standing Rock



That’s my face drinking this cider despite the pretentious bullshit they threw on the name.  I probably gave it an extra point they didn’t deserve because of the Scottish aspect.  I love the Scots.  I always have.  The best analogy I’ve heard is that Scottish people are the shit of the shit on the British Isles.  This to me makes them special.  When you’re at the bottom you got nowhere to go but up.  If you’re the bottom… Well then you’re gonna get fucked.


“Cyder”. Fucking cyder. They doubled down on this shit. I can’t state enough how much this grinds my goddamn gears. You goddamn kids in your goddamn gym classes. I see you looking at the goddamn can too and you know who you are. There’s a damn reason you keep asking me to review these as I find them.

I don’t have the problem. You do. Seriously though can we get some white cans for Cider? Why so much goddamn black?! Oh I’m sorry… Cyder. I mean fuck that noise that is just some bullshit.

Is it funny that I read Duntroon and I can read it in a Scottish accent? I’m curious to find out if this is true or not and the goddamn gif above this is distracting the shit out of me. I mean c’mon girl can you just admit it?

So I like the red and it’s actually not a black can but a very dark blue. It’s extremely simple in it’s presentation but I’ll take it. I’ve seen better though.

I am annoyed on a few levels though. The aforementioned “Cyder” annoys the shit out of me. It’s a Scottish fucking name in Duntroon but the logo is a goddamn Celtic Knot. Get your shit straight you motherfuckers.


BBC – I mean 100% Local, Hand-Picked Ontario Apples.

Ain’t that some shit?


There’s a cloudiness there which is weird.  That is new in all my time drinking cider which I can’t explain.  I also find it odd the carbonation is almost hidden in a way.  I can hear the thunder rolling in.  God is angry for my reviewing this cider.  Sorry, “Cyder”.  Seriously that is only of the most pretentious loads of shit ever.  Like a blonde girlfriend pretending she doesn’t want something when we damn well know she does.

Yeah that’s right.  I’m watching you.


Now that is a nice apple smell.  I genuinely like it.  Maybe a bit too much water in there, which would make sense due to the 4.3% alcohol but I’m not gonna slag on them because of it.  You’re skirting both worlds.  Really, ya’ll can blame me as much as you want.  This is just fun.

You bring this cider to your nose and it’s got a good apple smell.  Enjoyable.


Goddamn that is a tight bubble.  Not only that it’s a good apple taste.  It tastes stronger than it lets up.  Like when you get something stronger than you expect it to be.  Sigh.  This is gonna go down as the gayest goddamn post I’ve ever done but here it is.

Seriously shit ain’t right like you’re gonna pass out or something.  This cider ain’t half bad though.