Ardiel Cider House Dry Cider

Overall

7/10

I may be biased because this is definitely on the dry side and I’m a fan of dry cider.  Go figure I hate dry white wine cause the parallel is there.  Oh and fuck grapefruit with it’s puckery-ass fucked-up-ness.  Who the fuck drinks grapefruit to quench their thirst?  No one that’s fucking who.  So this cider is good.  I won’t call it excellent but it’s good.

Packaging

Shit looks like what a poor person thinks a rich person would have if they had cider in their fridge.  I mean, I’m not opposed to the design style I quite like the line art as well as the typography.  The colour scheme is nice too.  It has some nice verbiage on the can which again hearkens back to the day of reading the back of the cereal box while you had your breakfast.  I feel like if I’m drinking this I should also own a BMW.

“The Blue Mountains, Ontario”?  Seriously fuck right off.  Probably the same asshats that call it “The Beach”.  It’s the “The” fucking “Beaches” get over yourself and get over it.

Ingredients

“100% Pure Ontario Apple”, Sulfites

Appearance

Another nice bubble that came out subtly and sticks to the glass.  Definitely more of a persistent bubble though.  It’s pretty and a nice mid-yellow shade.  It definitely has a visual of carbonated apple juice.

Aroma

The apple smell is there and it’s definitely on the more tart side when you sniff it but it’s gotta be under your nose.

Flavour

You may see the bubbles but it goes down smooth when you drink it.  Almost a bit too smooth.  If anything I might even say despite the carbonation it just feels… flat.  I kinda feel jilted like when you take that cute girl home from the bar only to peel off that padded bra and find she got no titties.  Who invented the padded bra?  It’s fucking evil.  I mean I get it, men are visual.  Men also have extremely low standards.  Trust me titties or no if you pay attention to a man chances are he’s digging you.  Padded bra is just flat out (pun not indended) lying.  I’m gonna start dating again and stuff my jeans when I go to the club.  Imagine your disappointment when that Anaconda you been eyeing is a garter snake.  Definitely tart and definitely dry.